4.16.2012

Big Boy "E"

Where do I start? What can I say about big boy "E"?  I haven't seen him since January 25th and I still have anxiety talking about him.  When I started thinking about writing a post on him, I talked to Ryan about my struggles with being positive. 


Have you heard moms say that the "true" behaviors come out at home?  Some students that I used to teach were such sweeties at school and yet the moms would tell me of bad behaviors/fits thrown at home, things that I never saw as their teacher.  As a parent sometimes you get the worst taken out on you. . . imagine being the foster parent. 


I have some lovely stories.  Lovely stories.  They make me smile now, but at the time I was either pissed or crying.  For the most part big boy "E" hated me.  I think he might have liked me a little bit, but I was the lady who kept him from his own parents, and I was also a lady-which meant he didn't have to respect me because at his house you only listened to men. 


I would love to share the stories with you, but this is where I confided in Ryan. . . and we decided that's its not fair to big boy "E" to share these stories, because none of them are good.  He is 5, he has grown up in an abusive home and his bad behaviors are a result of that.


So let me share some of the good things that I remember about Big Boy "E", and it is my hope that one day only these things will stand out to me when looking back on his time in our home.


*"E" loved his little brother.
*He was organized-clothes, shoes, toys, stolen toys, food- absolutely everything had an assigned spot!
*Big boy "E" loved music, he almost knew LMFAO's "Sexy and I know it" song word for word. (I know you're thinking we're crazy for playing this type of music for a 5 year old, but our classes told us to help the kids be comfortable by participating in their cultural stuff, recognizing religious holidays and playing their favorite music-no judging!) 
*Anytime "E" got excited about something he would sing "ugghhh-yeah!" over and over in a rap-like way and the best part was he would dance at the same time or throw his arms up like a gangster. . .pretty sure he picked up a few things from his older brother, but it was funny to watch!
*After bath time he would run around naked with his brother, no joke, they would laugh and scream and be so excited getting dressed for bed-Ryan was in charge of their bed time routine:)
*He loved SpongeBob Squarepants.
*He LOVED to ride his bike.
*After the first two weeks Big boy "E" helped me take care of Brooklyn, whether it was walking her to me when I needed her, or helping her get a toy out of a bucket-he tried his best to be nice to her and fill his big brother role.


And there you have it.  I'm choosing to to feel blessed that I can make a list of good things about Big boy "E". 


I have one more post to share about these two brothers, it will be the hardest thing that I've written, and yet I still don't think my words will be able to accurately describe the emotions of the situation.   But there is a light at the end of the tunnel, and I can't wait to share about some of our positive experiences of fostering.  

1 comment:

  1. Can't wait to hear more, Sara!
    And never forget, even though there were lots of bad things and a good list of positives you can think of, you had a good influence on Big Boy E. You may never feel it, he obviously didn't feel that way, but you never know what you did to shape him positively for the rest of his life. He might reflect back on that time when he's older and realize it, but trust me...nothing is wasted. God used you in some way, for however short a time. Love you!

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