10.18.2012

Confessionals

I love being a mom.  There are days that I want to pull my hair out and eat entire bags of tortilla chips, but I wouldn't trade being a mom for anything.  Sometimes I'll share stories from home with my (childless) best friends and they'll respond with "Reason #521 to not have children."  But when I share those same stories with people who have kids, they totally get it. . . and they would still choose to have children after the nasty, shocking, exhaustion types of stories that come with being a mom. 

But to be honest, there are some stories that I don't share at all.  Not with my friends who don't have kids, definitely not with the ones who do and especially not on any type of social media.  I tell my husband everything and he can attest to the things I regret doing as a mom.  It's not a huge list (as far as I can remember), but there is a list.  For example:

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Just recently after a very long day, Ryan came home to find me on the verge of tears.  But the tears were partly emotional and partly from pain. Here's why. . .

Brooklyn and Baby G were both awake from their nap.  Baby D was resting on my lap but he was awake as well, which isn't often since he's still a new guy.  So I took the time that he had his eyes open to let Baby G and Brooklyn talk to him and get used to him more, as I'm sure its confusing when you wake up and there is a new baby in your house.  In fact I'm sure Brooklyn's thoughts were something like "Really, another baby mom and dad? Why can't the attention be on me? I got used to G but another one? You didn't even ask my opinion." 

So as the kids were nicely talking to Baby D, Little G decided to smack him on the forehead with all his might, hard enough that the baby immediately was screaming.  You know what I instantly did before thinking? I smacked G on the head in the same way and he started crying.  A few seconds later Brooklyn decided she would smack me in the face too, since apparently it was the cool thing to do at the moment, and her finger went in my eye with the hard smack.  And failing again, I smacked her back on the head in the same way.  Now instead of tears both Brooklyn and G were laughing hysterically at our smacking party.  That's when my tears came. 

I always talk about using nice hands and I didn't follow my own rule.  Worse, my failing to follow my own rule resulted in one painful eye.  Kids 1, Mommy 0.
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There you go, a simple confession.  To me it was bad, I never thought I would be smacking my kids on their foreheads, but there are quite a few things I've done that never entered my mind before having children.  Along with things I've done, sometimes I struggle with things that I don't do or should be doing (organic foods, how often am I on the ground playing, etc).  I think that all mom's struggle in different ways, and yet when you don't share about it you might feel isolated, like you're the only one who- blah blah blah's. 

Maybe your an A+ mom all the time and that's great, but I would like to be realistic with you in saying that I'm not perfect.  Would you join me?  I'll start posting anonymous confessionals, stories from realistic, honest moms.  I saw one or two websites that have this but the *F*bomb was dropped on a few posts and they were just short rants.  I don't want to drop any *F*bombs, but I would love to hear from mothers who love their kids and still find themselves doing "oopsies" every now and then or maybe have struggles that they'd like to get off of their chest when it comes to parenting.

My email is sara.senters@gmail.com.  I'll gladly accept any confessions and will post them anonymously.  Stay tuned for tomorrow, where I'll share the first confession from a mom who has a list of things to talk about!

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