9.24.2013

Happy 1st Birthday Baby D!

Today we celebrate Baby D's precious little life, and on the 26th we will have had him for exactly one year!  I'll give the birthing credit to his biological mom, and I'll also give her some kudos for giving up meth (finally) in the third trimester.  But that's all the credit she'll get from me, like ever.  

I don't know what time he was born, what he weighed or how long he was.  Did he nurse with her for a day?  Was he left in the nursery for hours when his mom split?  Did anyone other than nurses love on him when he was born?  Our family will probably never know these answers, and that's okay- because two days later is when we entered the picture and we know his history from that moment on.

Babies are all the same, whether that child has come from your uterus or simply from your heart- babies are babies.  Biological moms, grandparents, guardians, foster and adoptive mommas are ALL up throughout the night if they're caring for newborns.  These babies don't magically sleep for you if you weren't in the hospital pushing them out.  So yeah, I'll take the credit for the months of night time feedings.  The diapers, Doctor's visits, CPS and court visits, providing an environment to help with developmental progress, giving hugs, kisses and multiple outfit changes after spit-ups and blow outs- Ryan and I will take the credit for those things too.

Originally when Baby D was headed in the direction of possibly living with a cousin I knew that I needed to be supportive of that and ready for it because keeping kids with family is almost always best.  Except that sometimes its not.  His cousin could not pass the background check and she basically dropped off the face of the earth, not answering her phone, letters and etc.  Then dad named another relative and that person wouldn't even pick up the phone or return any messages.  So after months of being prepared to lose Baby D and accepting the fact that he might have family that wants him, my heart has changed.  Like in a BIG, SCARY, CRAZY MOM kind of way.

We prayed for so long that God's will would happen for Baby D's life.  Not what the Senters wanted, but what God wanted.  Clearly, after things have gone through and we're still caring for him months later- I'm taking that as a sign.  D is mine, he is our son, he is the baby brother to my two children, he is a grandson to our parents, and he is a part of our family.  

Due to the system having some flaws all around, we're headed to trial on December 13th.  If he had started out in a baby court like infants are supposed to, we would not be waiting so long to find out what a permanent plan will look like for him.  D will be almost 15 months old, not having known or seen anyone other than our family, and they still won't be severing rights.  Dad gets a fair trial, which I'm fine with and I think anyone deserves.  However, he is still fighting for Baby D and Dad won't even be out of prison until D is two.  Even then he would have to take parenting classes for 6-9 months.    

So on December 13th I'll be sitting in court with a (possible) four week old baby, watching a trial that will determine the fate of my son.  First of all, can we just mention how scary post-birth hormones are???  Second, did you get the feeling that I've already claimed him as my son???  So yeah, we'll be asking for some prayers when the court date is approaching!

But since we take things one day at a time in our household, today we celebrate Baby D's life.  The year that he's had and the many more years of life that God has planned for him.  Even as a baby when people see his smile they are touched, and if you spend time around him you feel his charm and start to love his sweet spirit.  Baby D has blessed and enriched our lives in ways we never would have imagined.  He's going to move mountains, I just know it.


"Truly I tell you, if you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, 'Move from here to there,' and it will move.  Nothing will be impossible for you." Matthew 17:20


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