8.07.2014

Dear Tired Momma

Dear Tired Momma,

I’m tired too. 

I’m tired of waking up at 5am.  I’m tired of being my household referee.  I’m tired of explaining my parenting decisions to teenagers.  I’m tired of giving choices to three year olds.  I’m tired of changing diapers.  I’m tired of saying no to things because it’s too much work to leave the house.  I’m tired of making dinner.  I’m beyond tired of the amount of laundry I do.

I’m tired of complaining about all of those things as well.  Complaining makes me feel bad because I know that some moms would give anything to be home with their kids, and actually some would give anything to simply have kids.  That’s a personal guilty-mom cycle for me.  In a moment of tantrums I just want to leave the house and get away, and then minutes later I feel guilty for wanting to get away.  Or I question what it would look like to go back to work and just pay someone else to watch my kids, and then I immediately feel guilty for even letting that cross my mind. 

I’m tired of feeling guilty. 

Feeling guilty that I let a birthday slip by without a party because we had court happening. I feel guilty when I tell my daughter we’ll paint nails later because I’m rocking the baby to sleep, only to forget about it anyway.  Guilty that I don’t spend enough one on one time with my kids, I told my husband the other day that I feel like I’m present for them every day but with the amount of needs all happening at the same time I don’t feel present at all.  Sounds crazy right?

I’m tired of feeling crazy.

Crazy in a way that I could possibly be losing a son, it seems unreal.  Crazy in a way that plans or “to-do’s” totally and completely slip my mind if I don’t write them down because too much is happening.   I feel crazy when I yell at my kids because one has asked me the same question 100 times while another one is crying and another one is at my feet needing something that only I can get because I’m mom and I have to do everything for everyone at the same time and it makes me crazy.  Then I feel guilty about yelling and the cycle starts all over again.

Tired momma, I support you.  However you might have handled your kids today, you made it another day.  I want you to know that I’m tired too, and its okay to not wrap gifts properly or bring home-baked goods to potlucks.  Its okay to switch the gourmet meal for a pot of box mac n cheese at dinnertime, your children will survive.  Is your car trashed?  Yeah, mine is too, I’m too tired to clean it.  Tired momma, don’t feel bad about taking a nap at nap time, or accidentally nodding off while rocking your baby.  And if you’re the mom that doesn’t take the “newborn” advice and just cleans instead of rests during nap time, that’s okay too.  We all recharge differently. 

I don’t really know how mommy-wars even exist.  I’m too tired to care about what other moms are choosing to do with their children.  I also know that however they are raising their kids, they’re tired too.

So press on momma, you’re doing great and so are your kids.   

XOXO,

A Tired Momma

No comments:

Post a Comment