Welcome to 'A Mom's Battle of the Selfie'

I have a secret. 

It’s a little counter-cultural so I don’t talk about it.

I hate selfies.

noun: selfie; plural noun: selfies; noun: selfy
A photograph that one has taken of oneself, typically one taken with a smartphone or webcam and uploaded to a social media website.

I hate them.  It sounds so silly I know, but I hate them with a passion.  But first, let me take a sefie is playing through my head right now as I explain myself to you readers.  Even in my own house, my 16 year-old took at least 300+ pictures of herself the first 2 days of owning her first phone.  She put on my cool sunglasses on and just started snapping away.  Duck face after duck face.  Then looking fierce in the next 100 snaps.  She’s beautiful but oh my goodness that’s a lot of pictures.

Especially within teenagers, and now trending among adults, selfies have truly become the go-to picture of our culture.  I would bet that the majority of pictures uploaded to Instagram and Facebook are selfies and I wonder how many of those are simply for presentation. 

Personally, my life is chaos.  My house is often messy and my kids are usually screaming at various times during the day, but I could do my hair and make-up, slip into a little black dress and start snapping pictures of myself in the bathroom.  Maybe I’ll make a duck face or suck in my cheeks slightly like Kim Kardashian.  It might get across like I’m headed out with my husband or that I came home from a happy hour with friends, but in reality I was just preparing snack time.  In truth, I haven’t washed my hair in three days and more than likely you’ll find some poop in my fingernails from that nasty diaper I just changed.  It’s all about the presentation. 

It’s hard for me to believe that selfies tell the full story.  The camera angle pointing down to make you look skinnier.  The girl who always takes selfies looking to the left or right, it seems like her favorite pose.  But the reality is that she defaults to her side profile because she hates the acne you can see straight on.  The young adult who snaps pictures of her clothes each day, sharing about the new outfits she loves but hiding the debt she’s going into with shopping.  The guy who snaps selfies with girls he meets, his friends see on his feed a list of women he’s smiling with.  But he’s actually really lonely and has no serious relationships.  Or the people who are quite confident sharing their selfie, but won’t share the struggles they are battling on the inside.  Vulnerability and transparency look very different from presentation, and they always pose a greater risk.

Now don’t be offended if you take selfies, I never post about politics or the latest hype on Facebook because I hate the comment wars, so please don’t think I’m talking about you.  This is simply my personal preference.  And I am straight up awkward when I take selfies.  It’s just not natural.  The last selfie I tried to take was riding downhill on a bike in San Francisco and I had it on video the whole time.  There were several moments where I looked over the cliff and thought this is how I am going to die…taking a freakin selfie! Oh.My.Gosh!

I somewhat don’t even mind looking at them.  I just can’t bring myself to take them regularly.  I have taken a few.  I have to be honest.  In the 413 pictures I’ve uploaded to Instagram, 8 were selfies or pictures of just me, and 13 of those were selfies I took with another person.  Here is the evidence against me: 

Here is my struggle . . . How do I raise my kids in a selfie-generation?  When the Bible says, “the last will be first, and the first will be last.” And again it states, “For those who exalt themselves will be humbled, and those who humble themselves will be exalted.” (Matthew 20:16 & 23:12)  Where is the balance of teaching my kids to love themselves but also love others?  Encouraging them to be confident in the way that God made them inside and out, but knowing where to draw the line between being self-obsessed and selfless.  This epidemic wasn’t around when I was a teenager.  I got a phone at 16 that definitely did not even snap pictures and I didn’t have an email or the internet accessible until I was a freshman in college.   I have no personal experience to take from, but I’m paving the way for the new and future mothers.

Mommas, we are raising the next generation.  These kids are watching how we interact with each other in person and especially online when we’re a little braver with our “wars”.  Our children are watching us snap daily selfies, but how often are they seeing us serve and love others?  My hope is that our little children will be counter-cultural.  That it will one day be cool again to embrace purity.  That divorce, suicide, eating disorders and other sad statistics will drop.  And that our kids will love the outcast without fear of not fitting into the crowd because everyone will be doing it.  So I’m a mom battling the selfie.  I may need to embrace it a little, but more importantly we desperately need to swing the pendulum back in order to see a selfless generation rise up.

Can you help a Momma out!?!

Please help me kick my blog off right! My goal is to have 200 subscribers by the end of the weekend.  Please add your email under “subscribe” and share this on your social media platform!  I would be forever grateful and you will stay up to date on all of my life’s craziness!


  1. Rock it, mama!
    Thank you for sharing your heart and good luck with the blog launch.


  2. I love the new blog! My wife is the best. I love your transparency and the video of you trying to take a self...you are ridiculous!